For the past two weeks, I enjoyed soaking in the excitement of pregnancy. I naively thought this pregnancy was going to be different, than the hardship of being pregnant with Connor. I thought since I was not stressed with working outside the home, ate much more healthy foods than before, worked out at the gym, and actually slept 8 hours per night; I would have a glowing pregnancy. But unfortunately, I was in for a surprise!
One morning I was awoken to the beginning of vomiting episodes, that would plague me for the rest of pregnancy. Immediately I was taken back to the 9 months of hell of my previous pregnancy. I immediately began to panic, "how am I going to endure this for another 9 months, while taking care of a toddler"? Many people do not understand the severity my "morning" sickness and count it off as just a normal symptom of pregnancy that everyone goes through. I threw up between 10 to 30 times per day all the while feeling extremely weak, dehydrated, and nauseous afterwards. I've tried all the home remedies of ginger everything, to eating something light every few hours, sea bands, BRAT diet, and none of the traditional advice worked. I knew the only thing that provided some relief was the medication called Zofran. I called my midwife and explained what was happening and what helped with my last pregnancy. She informed me that a new study had come out stating that Zofran had the possibility of causing health defects to the fetus. Instead she wanted me to try other medications and leave Zofran as a last resort. My doctor officially diagnosed me with a condition known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG).
For the next month, I tried two different medications that did not provide any relief and instead prohibited me from being able to function and was unable to take care of myself, Connor, Logan or the house. I began to get depressed, from not being able to do the things I knew I needed to do. My mind would want to plan and do things, but when i attempted to do physical things my body would voliently let me know that it was not possible. Taking a shower and getting ready for the day would wear me out and the smells from cooking would send me into vomiting episodes. By the end of the first trimester, I had not gained any weight instead lost 10 pounds. I felt I became a burden to my family. I was not able to do the things I needed to do and instead caused stress and hardships to fall upon my husband. Not only physically was I sick, but emotionally I was depressed. I hated not being able to do my duties. I hated sitting around being useless and watching the dirty clothes, dishes and trash pile up. I also was confined to my house (mostly bed) and did not speak or see anyone other than Connor and Logan for days/weeks.
For the next two months, I spent every day in bed sipping gatorade and eating cherrios. Thankfully Logan was able to come home on his lunch breaks to feed and care for Connor and me. Connor 's days were spent in bed with me watching movies or reading books. I felt like the worse parent in the world of having my toddler spend days indoors, using the TV as a babysitter.
Logan eventually convinced me that I needed to ask my friends and women in the church for help. I was finally humbled enough and timidly asked for help. I do not like asking for help but I was at the point when I realized I would do for others if they were in a similar situation and I really needed the help since I was physically unable to take care of myself or others. I am eternally grateful for how supportive these wonderful women were. They formed schedules to watch Connor and bring us dinners. Their service to me, answered my prayers of help and eased my burden during this difficult time.
Through this hardship Connor was a rock and was the best little boy and seemed to sense the hard times I was going through. Every morning he would wake up come into my room and say "mommy sick" and then give me a hug and kiss. Crawl into bed and hand me the remote and we would spend the day watching cartoons. Logan would leave a drink and cheerios on my night stand, and Connor and I would share this for breakfast. He eventually learned to take his chair into the kitchen and refill the bowl with cheerios and bring it back to the room for us to share. He was very concerned about me and would hug me when I cried and say "mommy sad, it ok" or rub my back when I vomited. I have been very impressed with Connor's attitude and development while having to deal with a sick mom. He has become an independent, obedient, loving, and caring little boy.
I wish that pregnancy wasn't this difficult for me and that I could enjoy pregnancy. But for some reason this is my trial in life. I am grateful for being able to have children of my own and I am willing to be sick temporarily to be able to grow my family. I will continue to push onward and know that the outcome is worth all the pain. I know trials are given to us as an opportunity for growth, I just wish I knew what I am suppose to learn from this trial.
New Adventure
At Legacy Texas Bank Logan has been working diligently to prove himself to be a trusted, hard working employee with hopes of moving up within the company. This job requires him to work long hours with no extra compensation for his extra hours. He has been happy to do it with faith that his hard work will pay off in the end. However after inquiring about interest in a different division in the bank, he was approached by his boss who insuitated that Logan was not being faithful to his department and therefore was putting his job at risk. Logan did not take well to the threat and began to resent his job. Ironically the next day Randie (Logan's dad) contacted him saying their was a finance position availability at Hill AFB. We both laughed and said we would never move back to Utah. Logan sent his resume anyways just to keep his options open. Plus if the money was right we would go wherever a job took us. Within days the company in Utah called BAE Systems contacted Logan and gave him the easiest interview. They wanted Logan bad and were willing to give a nice compensation to have him.
The holidays: Thanksgiving and Christmas
For Thanksgiving, my mom came out to visit. Not surprisingly, I spent most of the time in bed. It was great to have company to help with Connor and to cheer me up. I was actually able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner that Logan prepared (all by himself) for us. We played card games and Mom (Memaw) bought Connor games that we all could play with him (hunger hippos, memory, and fishing). Connor enjoyed getting attention and being played with. We enjoyed a day out and took Connor to a jungle gym. I did not feel well, but I enjoyed watching the smile on his face while he played. Glad my mom was willing to come out and spend time with us even though I wasn't much fun to be around.
On Christmas, all three of us spent the day lying in bed watching christmas movies with a house full of packed boxes. There was not any gift giving among our little family or a nice dinner to enjoy, but we are grateful to have each other. We were reminded of this while reading and watching the lds.org mormon messages. I am so thankful for my family that loves me through the good and bad times.
Moving
Logan's new job wanted him to start as soon as possible. They worked out a deal where he would work for two weeks, and then have two weeks off to move his family. Leaving me and Connor alone for two weeks was very difficult, with me being in the fragile condition I was in. Before leaving Logan sold most of our belongings and packed most of the house leaving the bedroom and kitchen livable. Taking care of Daisy had become a huge chore for me (who wants to be throwing up while walking the dog?). Jake and Heidi graciously babysat Daisy until we got settled in our new place. Logan drove to Utah through New Mexico, Colorado, and Wyoming in order to drop Daisy off in Colorado at Jake and Heidi's house. Thankfully the winter, this year in the west has been oddly warm with little to no snow. It was such a blessing when Randie and Sherri allowed Logan to stay with him those two weeks . We are so grateful for them allowing us all to us to stay with them while we transitioned into our new place. The pressure was on Logan to find a place for us to live and get everything ready for us to move into. Those two weeks while Logan was gone was so difficult and time ticked away so slowly.
Everything went smooth, Logan enjoys his new job, finds and secures new home to live in, and his new company honors the promise of giving him two weeks to move his family. Logan flies back to Texas and finishes preparing for moving. Everything at this point has gone according to plan but it took a turn for the worse. When we went to reserve the moving truck Logan realized he left his drivers license on the plane. With it being the holidays, the airlines were not answering their phones and the DMV was closed. Without having a license he was unable to get a moving truck and this prolonged our move. I was also concerned with having to drive our other car to Utah while continuing to throw up multiple times a day. Plus their was a snow storm approaching. Loosing something so small set us back and all we could do was wait till the DMV opened or if the airport called us with report of finding his license.
While we waited we discussed our route for the trip. Would we choose the northern route and risk enduring the harsh winds with temperatures in the negatives or would we choose the southern route with enduring the snow storm. We prayed and asked family for advice on what we should do. We simply could not spend anymore time sitting around. Logan needed to get back to his new job as soon as possible.
Logan got his license and moving truck packed and we were ready to move. We decided to face the snow storm instead of the dangers of negative degree weather. Logan lead the way in the moving truck and Connor and I followed behind in the honda. The first stretch was great until we hit New Mexico at dark when we hit the snow storm. We could not see anything in front of us while the snow blew sideways across the night road. The semi trucks must be use to driving in conditions like these and flew by us going full speed which made us grip our wheels even tighter. Finally after hours of driving in the snow storm we made it to Albuquerque, our half way point. We thanked our Heavenly Father for keeping us safe and hoped the snow storm would be over in the morning. The next morning the snow stopped and the skies were clear. I loved seeing the desert red mounds covered with snow. Our next concern was another snow storm that was coming. We did not want to drive through the Spanish Fork canyon in the dark while fighting the snow. We paced ourselves to continue to drive with little breaks to make it to the canyon as soon as possible. While driving through Moab logan hit a salt puddle that splatter on my windshield. I was blind and the windshield fluid was frozen; therefore I was unable to clean my windshield with the wipers. I pulled off to the side of the road and used baby wipes to clean off the windshield. We were without cellphone reception through the canyons of Moab and Logan had no idea what was going on and had no way of turning around. He stopped in the middle of the road and waited. I pulled up next to him and explained what had happened and we kept on our journey with me leading the way. We made it to the Spanish Fork Canyon right as the sun was setting and luckily the snow storm did not hit us during that time. Still with it being dark with curving roads we took our time to safely make it through. I have never been so happy to see Utah valley as we made our way out of the canyon. Immediately getting on I-15 felt so good to be somewhere familiar, it felt like we were home. We made it to Randie and Sherri's house in time to bring in the new year in a warm home with family. We were extremely blessed throughout the trip with safety, my health of only getting sick once, and Connor was a trooper and enjoyed the sights of the trip.